why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
