worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I could fuck to npr.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
