You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
