I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
