we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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