omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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