In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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