I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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