There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
