only you would photoshop your dick
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
