HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
