They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
