never play flip cup with pint glasses
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
