i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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