what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
