You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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