I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It's official drugs can't kill me
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
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