I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
it glows. i had to have it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I would fuck him just for his dog
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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