I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
