note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
