Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
