she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
