I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
