Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
