i would punch a child for taco bell
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
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