are you still at the devil's house?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
