I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize