so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
