So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
