wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
