walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You took a bar mat shot.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
