Sry I called you an 8
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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