the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
