and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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