its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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