Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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