How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
