She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize