So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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