If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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