im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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