I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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