I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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