If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
