half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
