your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize