Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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