we're blogging at a bar
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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