Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize