Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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