you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
