I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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