Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
