You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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