he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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