Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
