they need to just BURY HIM!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
