You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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