You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
