Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
