so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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