So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
