I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Randomize