Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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