then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
