Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
