when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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