Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize