Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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