Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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