it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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