Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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