i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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