I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
